This trip called Life

Does anyone really know why we’re here or what’s going to happen in the future? I don’t think so. We can have good guesses, premonitions even, but no one really knows for sure.

I believe in being a “go-getter” and making things happen. You can’t get a good job by doing nothing, you can’t be successful if you don’t pour your heart into something. Life is what you make it. Nothing that’s worth it, comes easily, maybe once in a lifetime, if that.

I also believe that things happen for a reason. Sometimes we may not know why for a long time, if ever. I think some things are just meant to be, like fate almost. Now of course that doesn’t mean sitting around and waiting for things to happen. We have to live our lives, get out there and enjoy life. However, certain things tend to happen on their own. I also believe in karma. I think all these things are related. If you’re a good person then good things will eventually happen for you, things will come together. Timing is everything. These past 2 years have been a perfect example for me. I thought I would never recover after my ex and I broke up, I was in a roll over and diagnosed with MS, but I kept going. No matter what I told myself  “as long as I have two legs, I’m going to keep moving forward”. I kept going and now things are coming together, my family life has greatly improved, I’m going to school to do something that I’m passionate about, I have great friends (it took me awhile to weed through the bad ones) and next year I’ll be moving into a beautiful brand new condo.

Life is always going to throw shit at you and if you make it through today, life will try again tomorrow. That’s life. Just know that things are going to work out. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow and sometimes not the way you thought. Life is full of ups and downs, but without the downs there would be no ups. Try and enjoy every moment of this crazy trip called life.

Let go of the wheel for a bit and see what happens, just enjoy the ride.

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Watching Your Back in the Workplace

Do you ever feel like you have to watch your back at work? Call me naive but I’ve usually felt pretty comfortable where I work, up until recently.

Maybe I’m paranoid, maybe I’ve been watching too many legal dramas but I can feel something is up. Maybe it’s because I know I’ll be done soon since I’m going back to school in January (I haven’t announced it at work yet). Or maybe it’s because I have a tendency to get gut instincts when something is not right. No matter which one it is, I can still feel it. Talking in hush tones, the changing of conversation when I walk into the room, and the attitude of some co-workers. I know that there have been comments made about me to my employer, things that someone should just take up with me. ‘Co-worker A’ said that I “am always looking up the weather” on the internet. Which made me almost LOL in the middle of my annual staff review. First of all I live on an acreage out of town, so yes, naturally I check the weather, especially in the winter so I know what things are going to look like on the way home and it only takes me about 90 seconds. I rolled my car on my way to work last year because of bad roads so shove that in your pipe and smoke it. Secondly that same person ‘co-worker A’ has 10+ minute phone conversations with her sister, about NOTHING or gossiping, while at the front desk. *roll my freaking eyes* Like give me a damn break. I always feel like they’re out to get me…

I started at this job when I was nineteen. That was 5 years ago and a lot has changed. I have changed. They know me as a naive and quiet 19 year old and wouldn’t really stand up for herself. I’ve become someone totally different but I can’t be that person at my current job. I hope that makes sense. I really want to give them a piece of my mind, not in a disrespectful or rude way, but enough to get my point across.

I have one co-worker in particular, who is so in my business and so far up my ass, she’s pretty much coming out my mouth. I can’t stand it anymore. Anything that I’m taking care of or are responsible for, she comes and takes over. Or moves things around on my side of the desk or in the filing cabinet under my desk. I just want to scream “FUCK DIRECTLY OFF!” and “Don’t worry about what I’m doing, focus on yourself!”.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate my co-workers. Outside of work I think they’re all pretty decent people. I used to always thing everything was personal, but now I get it. It’s the damn office politics and I’m so sick of it. Even some of the shit my bosses pull. it really makes me roll my eyes. Aren’t we all adults, can’t we all just pull the sticks out of our asses and stop being so ridiculous?

Now maybe I have less patience because I know I’ll be done soon (end of December let’s go!), but I’m really getting fed up. The stress of it is pretty silly,I shouldn’t let it get to me. Instead of having a cigarette at the end of a crazy, hair-pulling day, I should go for a run and do more yoga. *deep breathe* It actually feels good just to rant about it on here.

My advice, and the advice I plan to follow when I start school and get into my new career is: stand up for yourself and don’t take bullshit. Also: Not everyone who gets you into shit is your enemy and not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

Cheers.

TehMartiniTalks 2.0

TA-DA! I’ve finally finished re-vamping my blog! Welcome to the TehMartiniTalks 2.0, it’s a brand new, fresh start! Now when I first created this place, it was meant to be for gaming talk/videos, however, I see it being more than that now. I am a gamer, but I’m also a real person, not some bot that types jibber jabber.  I have trials and challenges, shenangians, laughs and more to share! I want to talk about my other interests, and my other passion: fitness.

What I want to do with this first post is kind of go over what got me here.   Last year, in 2013, I was diagnosed with MS (Multiple Sclerosis). I have no family history of MS, but my grandma volunteered for the MS Society of Saskatchewan for years when I was younger, so I know what it’s all about. I’d had symptoms and issues in the past with fatigue, memory, brain “fogginess” but I never knew why. Finally in August of 2012, I developed Optic Neuritis, a way that MS commonly truly shows for the first time. From there I saw specialists, had MRIs done and eventually was diagnosed.

For the first 9 months or so things were rough… I didn’t know how to listen to signs that my body would give me, I didn’t know my limits. I felt like I was sick all the time when really, it was my body trying to tell me to take it easy. The fatigue had become incredibly hard to deal with. I had a lot of issues sleeping which didn’t help the problem at all. When I was seen for the second time at the MS Clinic I brought these concerns up and the doctor told me that to help combat these issues, exercise and keeping healthy was essential, also to quit smoking! I used to love going to the gym and working out when I was younger but with the way I was feeling it seemed like quite a feat…

I started by quitting smoking, after trying for years I finally just decided I was done. It’s a stupid habit, it stinks, it’s BAD for you and it’s very expensive. I picked up an e-cig from a local store to help me adjust and that was that. No more smoking. Next I deciding to do something I’d always wanted to try; I signed my mom and myself up for a yoga class. If you’ve never tried yoga, you really should! Never mind the stigmas, or pre-conceived notions, it is amazing. I felt amazing when I was doing it, I wasn’t straining or doing anything strenuous yet I could feel my muscles working! I felt so calm yet energized afterward. I started really feeling better, physically and mentally. From yoga I transitioned into using an elliptical and doing circuits to finally buying my own treadmill earlier in February. Nothing fancy, I got it used from a wonderful South African couple about to start a family and needed more space. It soon became my new baby and was the best $300 I ever spent.

I want this blog to be not only about the game worlds we live in, with levels and achievements, armor and loot, dungeons and boss fights. I want this to be about the real life journey and struggles we go through. Leveling up IRL if you will. “Martini” used to be a name I called my characters. She was spunky, spirited, strong-willed and beautiful inside and out, everything I wanted to be. Through all of the experiences in the last 2 years, I’ve come to be more like her. I’ve started to become the person I wished I was strong enough to be. This is TehMartiniTalks about anything and everything. I’ll talk about fitness, working out running, recipes, rants/raves, gaming, random shenanigans, and maybe… cats. Anything goes! 🙂

Here’s to reinventing yourself, may you always be the best version of you. ❤